What’s the life you want to have?

You’ve asked yourself this question a gazillion times? Yes? Okay, about a billion times? No? Truth be told, only a few million times. Oh ok, sure. But then, hey, you’re not alone. Who hasn’t asked this question of themselves or been asked this question at a workshop, a seminar, or heard it asked on a podcast, found yourself daydreaming when you see Oprah interview some of her Soul Sunday guests in her beautiful and serene Hawaiian mansion eh?

Well, I don’t know about you, but honestly I’ve been asking myself this question a lot. Not just lately, but for a while now. What is it that I want my life to be filled with? Now this can be looked at as glass half empty, or half full. When I ask myself what is it that I want my life to be filled with, it can mean that my life currently has some gaps and I’d like to have something that I don’t. There’s some lacunae that I need to plug and I’m unhappy about. So my glass is half empty from this perspective.

On the other hand, what is it that I want my life to be filled with can also be looked at as, what more of this life do I want for a future life that I’m envisioning? What’s filling me up right now and what do I really enjoy and love of what I have right now, this very minute. That’s my glass half full.

So let’s do this. Wherever you are right now, sitting, commuting, in the kitchen, on the pot, in a pub, with your folks, kids, lover, wherever, read this piece and do as I’ve explained here. Close your eyes. Imagine you are under a tree in a lovely field full of flowers. Imagine the sun is creating a dappled effect on your skin as it filters in through the leaves of this giant tree. Imagine you can smell the grass and the wild flowers gently swaying to a lovely breeze making them bend this way and then that. Just like a voluptous woman walking slowly to say hello to you in the bar where you’re sitting nursing a drink and thinking ‘woe betide me’. Smell the slightly sharp and sweet perfume of your body mixed with the smell of the earth and the grass and the flowers and the sky. Relax. Imagine. Imagine who you’d like to be with right then, what and who you’d like to be surrounded by, what is the feeling that rises in you when you imagine this. Not the kind of car, not the kind of house, not the kind of clothes, not the shoes or hair or pearls or what have you. F@#$ that! Imagine the feelings that you want to be filled with, when you see the people around you and you around them. Laughter? Stillness? Serenity? Tranquility? Excitement? Passion? Frustration? Joy? Abundance? Fulfillment? Contentment?

What is that feeling? If you can identify that, then you know that that is what you need to be going after, at this very minute, this moment, this millionth of a nano second. Now!
Immerse yourself in the feeling, breathe evenly, and relax for a few mins., or count till 10 and then open your eyes. What do you feel? Sad? Depressed? Purposeful? Determined? Hopeless? Hopeful?

What is the kind of life you want to have is I think about what you really want to feel. I know I want to feel blessed. How can I feel blessed? When I feel a sense of joy, gratitude, warmth and comfort in who I am and who I am with. Right now I’m chasing a mirage – of success and money – in the hope that that will somehow fill my life with the feeling of well being. But the more I chase it, it runs faster and I know I’m getting short of breath. I think I must walk the talk too :). I must let go and immerse myself in the life I want to have. Right now, right this very minute, right now, in this millionth of a nano second.

 

Changing Routine!

Started out with everyday, then went on to Tue-Thu and now am changing my routine again. Am going to come at you on Mon – Thu from next week.

It’s nice once in a while to change routine. Perhaps this helps avoid stasis. Sometimes it’s nice to kind of do a dance, a brisk shake, especially when those cramps take charge of your limbs when you’ve been stationary in one position for long. And when you stop, you feel the blood rush, your heart pumping a little more energetically, and you feel a smile tearing at the edges of your lips, pulling them apart. Yay! Suddenly life in that moment seems really good. Worth cherishing. All those little moments that we allow to slip by not bothering to give it a second glance, because they didn’t create big impact in the channels of our heart or mind. Memories, life, laughter, love, and happiness are made up of small moments aren’t they? That burst of a smile like a ray of sunshine on a cold wintry day from my 16 month old angelic niece and when she goes “Nenooo”, “Nenooooo” is enough to make me wonder about Life’s wondrous quality, sending a silent prayer and being grateful for everything that made that moment happen. Yes, even for me, usually given to slightly more somber thoughts, Life is about those moments.

So just a little change in routine can make Life seem so differently hued, leaning towards rosy. So there’s something about routine, breaking it and making it. Have you thought about the stasis of the mind? And how just a little shake this way or that could unlock, rejuvenate and set in motion a chain reaction that could in short change your Life.

Let’s go shake a leg. Come on Elvis, Jailhouse Rocks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What is your why?

“There are leaders and those who lead. Those who lead inspire us.”
Simon Sinek

 

Morning run today.My phone in my track pants, my headphones plugged in, listening to my Stitcher station – the Good Life Project. Jonathan Fields I love you and God willing before my US visa runs out, I will participate in your Immersion project, Amen!  Anyway as I was training for my 5k (hopefully) on Women’s Day, I heard Pixar studious founder Ed Catmull talk about a variety of subjects with Jonathan Fields. And as usual my mind raced. As usual I wrote blog posts out. And as usual by the time I finished 24 mins. on the clock, of my huff and puff run, I forgot all about it.

But one thing continued to resonate in my being. The sound of Jonathan Fields asking, “what’s your why?”. I don’t know exactly when he mentioned it during the course of his conversation with Mr.Catmull, but it struck me. What’s your why? What’s you…why? Hm…what’s my why?

Why? What a lovely question. Listen to Simon Sinek and you will know even more deeply, why, why is important. Not what, not how, not where, not when, but why. Why. I came home, sat down for my meditation. Crossed my legs, and began. And there it was – that darned question, ‘what’s my why?’. I decided to explore a bit and see where it led.

Why did I love to travel? I loved to travel because it made me feel free.
Why did it make me feel free? Because I didn’t feel like I was in a cage.
Why did I feel that I was in a cage back home? Because I felt that people were constantly watching, measuring, observing, forming opinions.
Why did I feel that people were constantly watching? Because I felt that I was always on edge and put on some kind of show of being me when perhaps I really was not.
Why did I feel that I had to put on an act? Because if I didn’t, and showed who I truly was people would reject me and not take cognisance of my existence?
Why was it important for me to have the external world validate my existence? Because how else would I know I was alive? I needed to know that I was from the outside.
Why would you not know that you were alive and give that power to the external world? Because it’s always been that way.
Why has it always been that way? Because I’ve known no other or been to afraid to explore another way.
Why have you been too afraid to seek out another path? Because I don’t know if I could go it alone I mean without letting the outside butt in.
Why can’t you try going it alone? Because I don’t trust myself.

Aah! My wind wandered as I struggled with my full heart to understand what transpired. I didn’t trust myself. I had trust issues. I didn’t trust the Universe to be there for me. Distrust was deeply embedded in my soul. And now when I think of it, the truth of the matter may well lie in my past which I’ve buried 10 layer deep and thrown the keys away.

There’s a story that we all have, buried deep within our DNA about why we do what we do. Start with the why. It’s a good place to start.

 

What do you really want?

Do you know what you really want?

I thought about it when I heard this show this morning, which strangely was about fear. Take a listen.

And then think about it really deep and hard.

I’ve been thinking about this for a long time and more sharply in focus due to this show.

Money?
Love?
Family?
Freedom?
Sex?
Recognition?
Fame?
Friends?
Relationships?
Materials assets?
Legacy?
Death?
Peace?
Country?
Faith?
Belief?

What do we really want? When you think about you 20 years down, how’d you like to think about the 20 years you’ve spent getting there? What kind of road did you travel on? Did you take detours? Did you take the fork in the road?

We’re always assailed by questions. One big question for me right now is “What do I really want?” What’s yours?