It’s Valentine’s Day. As someone who called me said, “It’s Hallmark Day”. So true. The Days that we have now-a-day(s): Hug Day, Mother’s Day, Rose Day, Tax Day (you’re raising eyebrows, wait till you hear the next one), Clergy Appreciation Day (I know!), Sweetest Day, and of course Boss Appreciation Day (which smart sucker thought of that one?!) and so on. It tires you out and to think that of the 7.2 billion people on earth, there are enough people sending cards and keeping Hallmark in gravy! Yup, a sucker’s born every second I say! Maybe we should have Suckers Day, ewww, sounds a bit screwy no?
Well, anyway, being a freelancer there are days when I have no work and there are days and weeks and months when my schedule runs just like any other busy corporate executive. Today, I didn’t have much to do. Thank God it’s a Friday! So I kind of gravitated naturally to my TV and vegged out on mush movies. (Spoiler alert) I’m a sucker for mushy, rom coms. I can cry at the drop of a hat and almost always have tears when the girl and the guy kiss at the end and say “I love you”. There’s something so gooey, so melting-hot- chocolate-on-a-brownie kind of richness and yumminess to it that you can’t help feeling all moony about it. I can’t. And I start asking myself a few questions about this notion, this mystery of Love, that each and every single one of us is actually dying to crack open.
Chime in with your own questions or see if these resonate with you.
1) Does love really make the world go round? How? What does it really mean?
2) So when you’re single, over 40 and a woman, is it the end of the road for you and “love will find a way” isn’t meant for you anymore? Sigh! Why?
3) When you’ve been in love with a person M/F, for say 8 years, then get married, then have babies and basically get into one of the many pre-decided, pre-designed cubicles with nameplates on ’em doors screaming “Family” “Job” “Saving for Holidays” “Children’s education”, that Life is supposed to be, does love really last?
4) How does love change or to use a more esoteric term, evolve? From the sheer physics and chemistry of it to say, meditative, grunt-and-accept or acceptable silence, boredom kind of biology?
5) “He won’t ever get anything from any woman that he gets from me” – how can you so confidently assert it especially when you’ve just discovered that he’s been cheating for a while? How delusional can one get in love?
6) “I slipped and bumped into a pole, a tree, a door jamb” – lame duck explanations – for physical, violent abuse that for some unearthly, illogical reason is acceptable in the hope that “it’s only this one time, he loves me more than life itself”. So is love this mysteriously illogical addictive drug that allows you to go blind in the head?
7) Will I ever be loved for who I am? God knows honestly, but first, do you know who You are?
8) Roses (they’ve got to be red), candlelight dinners (Gosh, at my age, I’d say no, I can’t read without my reading glasses, candle light be damned), diamonds, holidays, fancy watches at insane prices (God, don’t you get it? No amount of money can buy you time?), beautiful villas, etc. Is this the time when you say, “Oh God, I love you” and gladly accept the expensive stuff? And then at lunch, with friends or in the gym locker room with the boys you go, “Love is when I see her smile and it lights me up, gosh I’m so lucky” or “He’s a rock and so reliable, and his sense of humour is to die for” when secretly you’re just gushing about the ‘rock’ or the Rolex and eyeing the tennis coach or the girl in the tights?Hmm… is love really about practicing hypocrisy and making it into an art form?
9) Is love such a drug that even when your heart is breaking due to rejection, and you’re literally drowning in sorrow you clutch at cliches, “let it free, for if it is yours, it will come back to thee?”
10) And does stalking and the slashing of wrists and the attempt at choking one’s life’s breath out of the body forever in the noble cause of love or as W B Yeats laments, “and bending down beside glowing bars, murmur, a little sadly, how love fled”, automatically define ‘madly in love?’
11) When you are declared “Rose Queen” in college only when you get the most number of red roses from guys (guess, nowadays, getting it from girls needs to be accounted for), does it mean you are lovable? Adorable? Desirable? Or just plain boy fantasy and so you know, beddable?
12) Why are most love stories always eulogising youth and beauty? What about mature love stories? And please I don’t mean the ones where boy of 20 falls in love with mature woman of 42 or vice versa. No! we’re not talking The Graduate or Mrs. Robinson here. Have you folks seen “Something’s Gotta Give?” No? See it, you’d know what I mean!
More of that kind of stuff.
13) Why are we all made to believe that only when a man or woman outside of your family says, “I love you”, it kind of vindicates your worthiness? What about the love and the belief you have in yourself? The love of your family and friends? Don’t they mean something, anything? So you’re saying, of course they do, but er…this is different? Why?
14) Why is it easier to be in love with the idea of love than to actually live in love? Tough eh? We’re so addicted to these notions that we’ve been fed of what love should be, could be, would be that we ruin it for ourselves when we remove the rose-tinted Oakley’s.
15) #jbc And yeah, does love make the world go round or are we just so dizzy that the world seems to be like a carousel gone crazy? :)@contentmani
So while you are mulling over these questions over your cuppa, I’d like to leave you with some wonderful love talk that left an impression (taken from the movies that were my staple diet today). Enjoy. Happy Valentine’s Day everybody. God Bless St.Valentine!
Melvin Udall: I might be the only person on the face of the earth that knows you’re the greatest woman on earth. I might be the only one who appreciates how amazing you are in every single thing that you do, and how you are with Spencer, “Spence,” and in every single thought that you have, and how you say what you mean, and how you almost always mean something that’s all about being straight and good. I think most people miss that about you, and I watch them, wondering how they can watch you bring their food, and clear their tables and never get that they just met the greatest woman alive. And the fact that I get it makes me feel good, about me.
Melvin Udall: You make me want to be a better man.(“As Good As It Gets”).
Alphonso: You don’t step in to love, you fall in. Head over heels. Have you ever seen someone fall head over heels in love? It’s ugly, bro. Toxic, septic.
Reed Bennett: How did you and your wife get it so right?
Alphonso: Easy, I married my best friend!
Reed Bennett: I thought I was your best friend. (“Valentine’s Day”)
Kathleen Kelly: [writing to “NY152”] Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life – well, valuable, but small – and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn’t it be the other way around? I don’t really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void.
Joe Fox: Don’t cry, Shopgirl. Don’t cry.
Kathleen Kelly: I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly. (“You’ve Got Mail”)
Doctor Marcia Fieldstone: People who truly loved once are far more likely to love again. Sam, do you think there’s someone out there you could love as much as your wife?
Sam Baldwin: Well, Dr. Marcia Fieldstone, that’s hard to imagine.
Doctor Marcia Fieldstone: What are you going to do?
Sam Baldwin: Well, I’m gonna get out of bed every morning… breathe in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won’t have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out… and, then after a while, I won’t have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while.
Doctor Marcia Fieldstone: Tell me what was so special about your wife?
Sam Baldwin: Well, how long is your program? Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together… and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home… only to no home I’d ever known… I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like… magic. (“Sleepless in Seattle”)
Hitch: Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it’s the moments that take your breath away. (“Hitch”)
As I wind down from this year’s V-day, I’d love to hear you chime in with your questions or your favourite quotes or poems or what have you. Spread the love. Am pretty darned sure, despite everything that it does make our world go round. :).