When a hiatus leads to exploration!

“Every person needs to take one day away.  A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future.  Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence.  Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for.  Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.”
Maya Angelou, Wouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey Now

Maya Angelous is amazing. She’s just blessed with the wisdom and a wonderful expression. She gets it, and she gets it right everytime.

So yes, I was on a break last week. Away from the cares which were not withdrawing from me. I got back last Saturday, feeling totally revitalised. When I went to see my Life Coach yesterday, I was surprised at my more than normal loquacity, my clarity, my quiet and steely determination to be more, my inner calm. I believe it all came because of the vacation I took.

We’re busy people. Even if we’re not really busy, we like to fake busy-ness. It’s how our world is, how we’ve developed a harsh system where our worth is determined by how busy = doing something to make money/ career/ life = worth/ status = arrived in life/ esteem/ prestige/ impressions = acknowledgement/ recognition = continue to be busy = success = happiness (?) (perhaps).

When you really look at that above equation, what do you see? I see a vortex of inextricable isms, that we all strive towards. For whose sake? I don’t know. I know that for the longest time I was so caught up and shaken and stirred by that ‘ism that it caused a schism in my inner world. I’ve been scarred, brutally by what I thought and continue to think in a small degree that life is about what others think of you, of how you measure up to what people expect and deem as the benchmark of success. It’s of course nice to read about books that inspire you to ‘be yourself, quit the fucking job if you don’t like it, go make your own road, walk the path less trodden, work hard, follow your bliss, get a life’, but when push comes to shove, it ain’t easy brother. So what’s the best we can opt for? Stay busy. Fake it till you make it (we live on hope after all!). Till it comes to bite you in the butt.

And then when the mind is in a whirr, when the body is staggeringly exhausted, when the emotions are at a tipping point, compelling you to lean over the edge, you know you need to take a break. It’s so very welcome, oh my God, it’s like water to a parched throat.
I know that this time around, my break taught me:

a) Making time for yourself with your family is an absolute. No time for ‘no time’. It helps to reconnect and re-establish bonds.
b) Making time for breaks is again a non-negotiable. They don’t have to be expensive, 4-week and 6-week vacations to exotic locales. FB doesn’t care where you go, and if you’re a selfie junkie, well what can I say, get a life!
c) Short weekends or extended weekends are a must. Go alone if you have to, but go you must. They juice you up.
d) Age is a wonderful healer and teacher. It’s taught me to let go of comparisons. Hark now, the angels said, “this insight will come to you only when you leave your home and hearth and explore newer, fresher climes and places. March on.” This break reinforced my belief in myself. It’s nice to back myself up. It must be the hills I say, something about hills and hilly terrain, it makes you feel insignificant. Yup, that must be it.
e) Acceptance. Yes, strangely, this time, at a subliminal level, I think all the inner work that I’ve been doing actually helped me realise that I wasn’t perfect. But I was imperfectly whole. And that I may never be the best in anything, the smartest, the prettiest, the worthiest, the succesful-est, the wealthiest, the funniest, the fastest. So be it. This is who I am and where I stand is my square of earth. This is me. And that square of the Universe cares for me and I’m the mistress of all that I survey on that square. Yes, I’m an empress. If you’re one, good for you. Come, let’s clink our glasses.
f) Vacations are a practice. Not just fun, away-from-home experiences, but a practice. And practice makes perfect. I’m going to practice so often, oh boy,hooo haaa!
g) Our planet is magnificent. It’s peopled by truly extraordinary human beings with extraordinary cultures and practices. When I breathe all of that extraordinariness in, what do you think that makes me? :). Yup, extraordinary is good. I like extraordinary.

Didn’t I tell you that a little bit of hiatus every now and then is a good thing? It shapes you, moulds your thinking, makes you wonder about the shit you were pissed about. You go, “for that? really? waaa!” and roll your eyes. It’s an exploratory journey. About what makes you tick. What’s more, while your rambling along on that path, checking a crevice here, peeking into a cranny there, someone could slip you Cupid’s arrow and you could be intertwined with a new love forever. Now if that wasn’t reason enough to grab the last ticket out to anywhere, somewhere, maybe you need to go visit Mars!

Colbie Caillat I love you. Your songs  make me feel bubbly. Just like hiatuses.




“In quotes”

Beauty is as beauty does, beauty is as beauty feels, beauty is as beauty sees. I give you a story in images. Make of it what you will. A story like beauty, is in the eyes of the beholder. Your interpretation is as beautiful as mine, for after all what you see, no one else sees. You are unique, as am I.

I’m taking a mini-break and so The Jukebox Chronicles and the chronicler will be in absentia next week. Miss the chronicles, long for it, wait for it to get back, but but but, continue to hum your tune. Love you. Learning to love myself too.



Looks can be deceptive





Milestone 1- reached 50!

Just very happy today. Despite the sputtering start, a few misgivings, apprehensions about sustaining a blog, getting anyone at all reading it let alone appreciating it, my style of writing and a whole lot of other excuses notwithstanding, this is my 50th blog post. Yay!!! I did it.

There’s something about achieving something. Something indescribable. Something so utterly satisfying. Maybe you didn’t really set out to achieve a specific goal, though any one who has achieved immeasurable success will tell you that having a goal is essential, when you do accomplish the basic objective and maintain the rhythm, it just fills you up, the enormity of it. I feel so full, and feel a smile stretching ear to ear. Yay!! Yes, I did it.

What did I do that could help me perhaps achieve other goals and give me such immeasurable joy?

1) Do something with heart. If your heart is singing when you set out to undertake something, do it. Don’t look back.

2) Do something with authenticity. Be yourself, don’t worry about how you are perceived by others. If someone thinks you suck, well everyone has an opinion. Don’t you?

3) Do something fearlessly. Think of yourself when you’re 60 and actually experience the feeling of regret and disappointment at not having done something 20 or 25 years earlier. No time like the present.

4) Do something with diligence and commitment especially if it’s something you’ve always dreamed of doing. Why waste time and effort on something that causes you to do this :(.

5) Don’t doubt yourself. Keep the faith.

6) Don’t get disillusioned. Give your passion time to bear fruit. But don’t be blind to your own shortcomings or signs that it may be time to pack up. Be practical.

7) Be original. Even if it’s old wine, at least it can be packaged in an innovative and unique manner. Make it your own.

8) Don’t be in a hurry. While time is of the essence, nothing worthwhile came into existence in a day. Not Facebook, Google, Apple, Twitter, sliced bread, the aeroplane, the remote, Netflix, Levi’s or whatever else.

(I don’t know what happened, but I take my hate back. Just shows that technology can be forgiving. Unlike those whom it serves).

Oh well, that’s my simple list really of how to stick to your passion. It may not be comprehensive but it’s my list, my voice, my thought, my blog, my share. Finally there’s one non negotiable. Action. Get off your arse and get down to doing whatever you’ve been thinking. Remember YOLO.